Who doesn't want their kids to be geniuses?
Mozart was a musical genius. Edison and Darwin were geniuses in science.
And, here you are, waiting for your kids to show some signs of genius, so you can feel good about yourself and ensure you are doing a good job as a parent.
Now, I tell you that neither Mozart nor Edison, nor Darwin showed signs of genius during their childhood. Nor do you need your little ones to spark flashes of greatness to know that you are doing a decent parenting job.
Today I am going to talk to you about what did help these three characters to change the course of history, and it was their insatiable quest to be better every day. This is known as the growth mindset. What is the growth mindset? Keep reading and I'll tell you.
People with a growth mindset mobilize their resources to get ahead, to learn and go further. It doesn't mean they have all the answers. On the contrary, they recognize that because they don't have all the answers they are willing to seek help, create strategies, put more effort into practice, and measure their progress. They grow. They always grow. Even in adversity, they grow.
In contrast, people with a fixed mindset find reasons to quit as soon as they face a setback. Excuses like "I can't, I don't have the talent, I don't have enough time, I don't have enough resources, others know more than me, have more than me, can more than me, etc." These false beliefs take over people’s mindset and in many cases, cause them to give up, even though they might have the talent to succeed.
Yes, as you just read it. Talent does not guarantee success. It's the mindset.
Sure, talent helps. But when we emphasize innate talent and refer to people as “very smart, super bright, born genius, etc.”, we are unknowingly stunting their growth. Why? Because when that innately brilliant, talented, genius person is faced with a setback, he or she will not have the strategies to overcome it. His morale will crumble, and he will more likely give up.
Now, how do we know if we are harboring a fixed mindset or a growth mindset? Consider these questions and answer honestly:
Do you think that some people are made to be on top and others to be on the bottom?
Do you agree with the idea that some people, maybe you, are not good at certain things, like finances or technology?
Do you think that if you fail over and over again trying to do something, such as a business or job search, it is because that is not your thing, it is not for you?
When you see other people succeed, do you think they have something you don't have: more money, more time, more intelligence, more help?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, don't be overwhelmed. We all have some fixed mindset. The important thing is to become aware of which beliefs strengthen the fixed attitude and which ones contribute to growth so that you take advantage of the positive ones and let go of the negative ones.
Now that you are aware of the type of belief that inhibits growth, I invite you to be more intentional with yourself and with your children. Pay attention to your beliefs and evaluate if they help with your growth and that of your children.
In my next articles, I'll show you how to be more intentional and what we as parents can do to foster a growth mindset.
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