Building a peaceful corner
Having a safe and quiet space in your house for those moments of strong emotions and tears is ideal to help children (and yourself) calm down, get in touch with what is making them feel that way, and allow everyone (including you!) to take deep breaths. The best part is that building a calming or peaceful corner is very easy and low cost.
Follow these three easy steps to set up your calming corner. Remember, this technique is most effective right before a crisis, not at the height of it. You, more than anyone, know your child. If you see that a meltdown is in the horizon (and you are at home) visit the peaceful corner and start creating a routine that includes belly breathing, playing with sensory items, reading books, playing music and having a brief conversation about the emotions you are all feeling. Emphasis on brief ;-)
Identify the area: It must be a quiet place in the house, such as a corner in his room or the living room.
Make it cozy: Add pillows, blankets or a comfortable sofa to relax. Have a basket on hand with 3 or 4 of his favorite books. Invite your child to choose a special stuffed animal for her/his peaceful corner that she/he can hug. Eliminate unnecessary distractions. No screens.
Add props: On the wall, place beautiful photos that remind your child of a very pleasant experience. Add one or two of his special drawings. Put up pictures of happy, sad, upset faces on the wall. Get manipulative toys like a stress ball or fidget toy, or make a simple relaxing bottle with water, oil, and food coloring.
On this photo from littlelifelonglearners.com, you can see an example of props you can add to your corner.
And you can get more ideas from their blog post.
Once you have the peaceful corner ready, keep this in mind:
It is a space to connect, not to punish: It is super important to keep this in mind. This technique is used to help children regulate and breathe slowly. The best time to use it is before the crisis. That is, when you see your child agitated, excited, exalted or irritated, but not totally overwhelmed.
Stay with your child in the process: These moments are opportunities to connect with your child. Sit together to breathe, to read, to play, to hug a stuffed animal and to feel the emotion of the moment until the intensity passes and everyone is ready to continue with their normal routine.
Teach her/him to use the props: Point to the photos of you on the wall. Remind her/him where you were at the time and how much fun you were having. Talk about the emotion faces around you and how similar they are (or not) to what you are feeling right now. Let your child choose a calming bottle or manipulative toy to use.
Remember: The peaceful corner is not a resource to punish your child or put him in time-out. On the contrary, it is a safe space to help him/her regulate. Some call this technique the “time-in”. That is, a moment to get in touch with emotions, feel them and let them pass.
I hope you try it and have positive results.