Mindfulness is good for our mental health
Once upon a time, I was a reporter. I asked lots of questions, listened attentively, and wrote stories. I crafted messages and ensured they came across the way it was intended for my audiences.
Mindfulness is about awareness
Now that I am a mom of two and have read many studies about child development, I spend a lot of time paying attention to the messages we send to our kids, whether consciously or unconsciously, with our words, our silence, actions, or inaction.
As the author Kim Scott says in her book Radical Candor, the content of the message is determined by the receiving part, not by the sender. You may say something with words, but your body language and overall attitude could be sending a very different message. And, kids know it!
What does this have to do with mindfulness and parenting? Everything!
What is mindfulness, anyway?
Mindfulness is about awareness.
It is about being aware of your body sensations. Are you experiencing shallow breath, tension in your shoulders, or tightness in your face?
It is about being aware of your thoughts and recognizing when you are distracted, replaying a scene, or planning ahead in your mind. What thoughts are going through your mind? Are you thinking that it’s getting late? Maybe, you are wondering why something is happening again. Or, perhaps, you are pondering over the many times you’ve asked your kids to do the same thing.
Mindfulness is also about being aware of your feelings. Are you feeling irritation, worry, shame, anxiety, excitement, anticipation, sadness, or a combination of some of them?
Most of all, for us parents, mindfulness is also about being aware of our kids’ feelings and behaviors. What sensations, thoughts, and emotions can possibly be driving their actions?
You must be wondering: How on Earth can I be mindful 100% of the time?
The truth is you won’t. The mind is used to being busy. But, you can take concrete actions to being more mindful 10% of the time.
Why practice mindful parenting?
The more you observe your thoughts and feelings, the more you can prepare yourself to handle difficult moments throughout the day, especially those involving your kids. You know which ones I am talking about. ;-)
When you start to focus on your breath, you slowly shift away from focusing on what is causing you worry or irritation to focusing on the calming sensation that comes with slow and mindful breathing. Deep breathing also helps your heartbeat to slow down, it relaxes your tension, and regulates your temperature, allowing you to respond rather than react to the situation.
I hope you give it a try, whether as part of a regular meditation practice or throughout the day.